Yesterday, I chased a butterfly for almost 20 minutes. Well, I don’t want to say chased, I guess. I followed slowly, careful not to scare it off, as it flitted from place to place. I was mesmerized by it’s beauty and grace. I was excited to be so close to something so remarkable. Something so…well, pretty. My backpack weighed a ton, it was hot, and I had a mountain of homework waiting for me when I got back to my apartment, but for that moment, I was all smiles.
It’s amazing how something that small can be such a huge experience. And yet, in this busy, fast-paced world we live in, it’s easy to miss those moments. We’re so wrapped up in our schedules and our to-do lists that the best parts of life can wind up neglected and forgotten.
I said I was going to be honest and so I will be. Things haven’t been sunshine and rainbows lately. I feel like I’m in over my head, at a new school with all new people, trying to get used to my medication and trying not to give in to the urge to turn tail and run. It’s been hard. To top it all off, I can feel myself sliding. I hate that feeling, when I know the depressive swing is right around the corner. There’s this desperate searching for a foot hold before falling completely into it. That frustration as I try to fight it off.
Once, when complaining about just that, a friend of mine said, “Remember, there are still kittens.” He meant it as a joke, but you know…he has a point. I worked at an animal shelter this summer and those moments when I got to sit down and play with my favorite kittens, everything felt right. I felt content – so at peace. And I guess I just wonder how many of those moments we walk by every day. How many butterflies do we fail to chase?
It’s not that I think moments like these will solve my problems – or anyone’s for that matter. However, they do make problems seem a little more bearable, if only for a few minutes. So next time you see a butterfly? Go chase it.
