Why My Hair is Gone

Yesterday, I chopped all my hair off.  Instead of falling a few inches below my shoulders, it’s now a short pixie cut.  A pretty dramatic change that caused my co-workers to do a double take.  It’s something I’ve been thinking of doing for a long time and a few days ago, in a moment of sheer impulse, I asked Kyle to drive me to the local hair salon.

hydrocephalus, awareness, shaved head, brain surgery, pixie cut

Why is this such a big deal? Well, because to me, my long hair was more than just a hairstyle.  It was a proclamation of victory.  I had my last brain surgery right before I turned 16 and that included getting part of my head shaved.  When you’re a high school girl, this is devastating.  I think I may have cried harder when they did that than when I was told I needed another surgery.

After I was released from the hospital, a friend and amazing woman, Cindy Lampert, managed to salvage what was left of my hair.  She cut it short and covered the bald spot with a well placed part.  It was amazing!  For the next few years, I kept it relatively short, because I was worried that if I needed to have another surgery, I’d have to get part of my head shaved again.  I figured if I kept it short, it wouldn’t be a huge deal.

But around the time I turned 17, I changed my mind.  I wanted my long hair back.  So I started growing it out.  It was my way of saying “Screw you, Hydrocephalus.  I’ll have long hair if I want to.”  So I grew it out until it was well past my shoulders. It even covered up the surgery scar.  I loved it!  ….And hated it.  Long hair is a lot of work.  Especially when it’s thick too.  And I was tired of spending half an hour trying to dry it.

So I decided I had sufficiently made my statement and cut it off again.  Why did I decide to do it this month?  Because it’s Hydrocephalus Awareness Month and I thought doing away with all my hair would be dramatic enough to catch people’s attention and start conversations about Hydrocephalus.  So there you have it.  Why my hair is gone, in a nutshell.

Also, yesterday was the first time I looked in the mirror, saw my surgery scar…and found it beautiful.

3 responses to “Why My Hair is Gone

  1. Lindsey, you are beautiful with long or short hair! I know that I when I cut all my hair off when I went into the military it was so easy to take care of. Maybe this will be easier to take care of and give a rest on the whole hair dryer and styling for 30 minutes! :)

  2. Hi Lindsey,
    I’ve been looking for someone with a blog like this. And the fact that you are a Christian makes it even more inspiring. I realize you haven’t posted for a few months, but just reading your posts helps me all the more.
    I have hydrocephalus, and yes I am also a Christian. But you are so right when you said earlier that people just don’t understand it at all. And your hair is beautiful. :) I have super thick hair that covers my scars also. I’m in the process of growing it long, but it really is a pain. I would love to hear more of your story! Keep posting!

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